July is Here

Today... is Jerry's birthday.
Today... there was less annoying interruptions from our biggest client.
Today... I am less pissed off with the world.
Today... was (nearly) stress free because deep in my heart I know I have something to look forward to.
Today... I day dreamt about Clark and Lois. (yum)
Today... was full of surprises with 2 happy news of pregnancy among office mates.
Today... is just 8 days away from meeting Brian oppa.
Today... is 2 months away from KinKi Kids J Tour DVD release.
Today... their Limited Edition preorder should have sold out by now so thank God I already asked Farah to reserve yesterday.
Today... I would like to thank Johnny-san, Koichi and Tsuyoshi for hearing me gripe, complain and beg for the past 6 months.

Toma Daaaisuki

Toma Toma Toma Toma Toma Toma Toma Toma.

But completely unrelated to Toma, there are ants lying dead on the floor of my bedroom after getting tipsy and drunk with perfume. My precious L'occitane is the only substitute on hand sebab takde bug spray. Sadistic dan pemurah sungguh aku ni.

Updates!

• Mama Nurul and baby Ariq Asyraaf are safe and healthy.


• My third nephew is down with the pox and is crestfallen for falling ill during school holiday.


• I have yet to review items I should be reviewing like since last month omg.


• Suju is here in Malaysia and I don't care.


• Sugizo and Takumi have not updated their blogs in weeks and I'm dying for oldschool Jrock instead of scouting for new bands.


• Stress and pressure doesn't sit well with me. I need more KinKi Kids stuff to cheer me up.


• Erm, maybe NEWS can ganti KinKi for awhile.


• Megaupload is so shitty these days. The combination of MU and Celcom is beyond shite. SAIYAKU! -_-


• And omg Toma is so cuuuute when he's with Yoko and Hina. How can I let him go now?


• I hope that little something comes right on time!

[Edit: Oh! Amazing~ Takumi posted something new today! Same psychic levels ftw xD]

I shall end this update post with a short rant because I don't like how cruel some people can be towards their bestfriends.

Hearing bad stories about an old friend whom I thought was beyond human degradation is very shocking. Makes me wonder how she lives without true friends. If I'm cold and heartless, she's just... plain... (please insert your choice of cuss word here) pathetic.

p/s: too many things to tag. guh. lazy.

Shigoto! Shigoto!

Workdays are boring and slow when Farah's not online T_T

Goodbye to a Decade. Gokurasama, 2009!

Here's a not-so brief recap of my life from 2000 to 2009. No big accomplishments. But I take life as it is (with a grain of salt) and although resolutions aren't my thing, this is definitely the right time for a milestone post :)

My head's merely going with what I can dig up from my weak memory.

1. [2000] Final year of school life. Aah~ the bittersweet times of being a teenager.


2. Death of my love for L'Arc~en~Ciel. It was a joy knowing them but I have moved on. Thank you for introducing me to Jrock, Hyde-san ;)


3. Malay-dominated Matriculation course in Pulau Pinang killed my English. Seriously. So few English-speakers to befriend. Malay songs rotted my brain :[


4. Death of a loved one [2002]: My mother. Al-Fatihah.


5. Shortly after that, I enrolled at UKM studying Computer Science. Another major reason why my English proficiency died. XP


6. But if it wasn't for UKM, I wouldn't have berjinak (sorry, can't find a better word for it) with Korean entertainment. And I wouldn't have met my beloved separate-end-of-the-Pole twinnie Farah. ♥


7. Koreans overtook my heart. I flitted around a lot at first before stopping at Shinhwa and Park Hyo Shin. Hmm actually I've now cut down to only Shinhwa. Even just the six of them hurts my money.


8. Rise and fall of a kingdom. Heart still pains over this. "Gaining Through Losing" is an apt metaphor.


9. SHINHWA IN SINGAPORE! Enough said. *eyes crinkle from awesome unforgettable memories*


10. The trials and tribulations brought us all closer. ILY, Orenji Famili.


11. My slow but sure return to Japanese rock with the help of several bands I call my saviours: Gazette [2006], MUCC [2006], RENTRER EN SOI [2008].


12. My very obvious rekindled love for LUNA SEA [2007]. They were my sole reason I could survive in Penang for 1 year without reliable Internet connection. Although I couldn't forgive them for disbanding, their comeback made me realise where my loyalty truly lies.


13. A 'steady' career working with Elderaan Technologies, if I may call it that, ensures that I have an almost steady supply of Kpop and VK. And no, I'm not thinking of continuing my studies.


14. Har har. So much for Kpop eh? Jaded-ness has ruined my respect for the Korean music industry. Goodbye, fake love.


15. Family rifts. I'm neither here nor there nor on the fence. I sway whenever it pleases me. However, I will NOT end this cold war with that asshole of a person I should be calling Brother.


16. Sarina Abdullah Thani and Siti Aishah Khairazan (+ her sporting hubby). My bestfriends and soulmates? ILY as well. ♥


17. My disgraceful yet verrry satisfactory downfall into Johnny's and Associates fandom. All thanks to KinKi Kids, my newest heroes who protected me from a period of depression during early 2009.


18. Japan. Oh my God, JAPAN. My utmost travel dream came true. ♥♥


19. Visual Kei and Orenji Famili. Highly impossible to be crossed over was my first thought. LOL. Look at us now. We're even holding concert nights :D


20. Two weddings in a year [2009]. My eldest brother and my younger brother.

A lot of good and bad things happened this year. I may have even changed a bit eventhough I'm still generally young at heart. *cough*

I dunno if I'll be able to think up of more because you're in danger of falling asleep from boredom. Guh.

Pissy

My downloads aren't working, this computer chugs like a steamengine, Firefox is being a bitch, Farm Town is loading so friggin' slow tonight and I can't even get episode 4 of True Blood to load!

So when one of my old random schoolmate tries to sidle up to me and ask stuff I consider personal about my coming Japan trip without a simple introductory "Hello, how have you been?" or "Hi, long time no see"... I'm going to be all pissy and rude with her regardless of whether it's Ramadhan or not.

Isn't it annoying when someone, whom you aren't even chummy with during highschool in the first place, messages you out of the blue thinking you'd be all friendly now? Er hello? Do you even know me that well?

Have the decency to warm up to me first please. Then and only then you may cut to the chase and ask me who I'm going with and if you 'know' these friends of mine. Pffft.

It's like an indirect breach into your personal space wtf. And I LOVE my wall-high-1m-wide No Entry Zone which is exclusive only to people I care about.

Sounding pushy and vague, I can't even tell if she's merely making a bad start of a cordial conversation or she seriously wants to join me and my friends. But I'd like to keep this trip 'VIP Only', thank you. What makes you think I'd let you jump on the bandwagon we've worked so hard to build, huh?

Just the other day I told my twinnie on how I deal with friends I've lost contact with. But this is an exception, k? Our conversations were like so few that I doubt it could reach 1 hour totalled up.

It's July!

Dum dum dum dum!

Count your days, people! I shouldn't have to remind you how special this month is akekekeke.

Woo it slipped my mind to post this yesterday before leaving for home, I didn't have time to wish an extra special greeting for my Sugi-chan:

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, SUGIZO!

Stop wearing so much black, moisturise your hair and eat more so that you wouldn't look a day older :D

Work days are booooring this week since Farah got warded for A(H1N1). I miss youuuuu and your Shinhwa spamming and our daily MSN chats. Get well soon ;(

All About the Money

If only that lump of bucks I got in my sleep would materialise into my hand right now. RM3K. CASH. *has sweet brief flashes of the dream*

NOT a good way to wake up, no? My first thought as I woke was how this lucid dream is so going to be a bad omen. And hey, I just knew it!

Got lumped (not with moneyh!) with so many ad hoc jobs that I swore my brain was on auto must-finish-each-item-in-30-mins mode. Which is... good, I suppose, considering I managed to clear 'em up pretty fast so I wouldn't be at the end of the Scary Lady's jabs yet again.

I'm babbling! :S

Anyway, abingdon boys school's new single is out! LIKE, FINALLY. Sounds awesomely better than their previous idontevenrememberthetitle single. This is probably the only nicest thing to come out of Jrock-dom this week :D Well, minus Diru's latest concert vids.

*Totally ignores SUGIZO's 'announcement' of officially joining X JAPAN*

Jrock's been chugging slower these days. Why lar?

Thank you KinKi-san for being here when I need you~

Oh and thank you Farah for ranting/spazzing on MSN and Mish for loyally reading my pathetic blog.

Moving Continents

I need to research budget for a trip to Dubai. Aishah's really intent on visiting Jerry there. We're waiting for updates from Jerry still, but I doubt she'd have spare time during this first week of working as a 'mole'.

*stares at bank account* And my job now is to continue this no-spending-diet even after my Japan trip. I'm guessing 0.5K per month is sufficient? So... January 2010? :S

If only I had the money to traipse around the globe as easily as Dongwan (currently vacationing at a Japanese onsen) and KinKi Kids (currently in Seoul recording Domoto Kyodai).

*Arfah is bemused of the coincidence that her two three beloved guys flew to Japan/Korea around the same time*

Moving Forward to Greater Productivity...

.. and even better sneakiness. This is my third relocation and I'm kinda digging it although this place is colder than the little corner I sat in before.

Yes, definitely a plus point when you get a desk which faces your boss(es) and the angle of the screen enables you to sneakily open non-work related websites/applications. Mwahah.

Syiokness. Ehh but I'm a good girl ya know, I only do this after office hours ;P

On the sadder side of life, I hope they/we manage to crease over this crisis as gently as possible. I've personally went through a lot of intentional and severe breakups with good friends. I hated it but I did it so I could move on with the people I most trusted in.

I HONESTLY don't want us to go through that but since some people can't be forced or coerced, let's neither push nor give up. Because I'm sure you or they or heck anybody wouldn't like other people nosing into private matters.

You've got to be true to yourself first. Is this what you want?

(Probably) The Last Post for 2008

Lol. The above would only be applied if I'm too lazy to write anything between Monday and Wednesday. As of right now pun aku dah penat gile b*** after draining my physical and mental energy in running my uncle's wedding.

Biasalah family aku ni, kalau bab wedding functions for sure akan berpenat lelah do almost everything by ourselves. The past few days I was assisting my younger sister Oja set up the pelamin, then cleaning up the badminton court (waterjet ops) and then clearing up my bedroom. Wah lau weh, long time I never see my room this clean wan!

My duty today, apart from helping Oja, was essentially to take care of the goodie bags. Mana tau kena lari sana-sini jugak mengecheck whether the F&B is enough/refillled. Alhamdulillah, I can already see my younger cousins, nephews and nieces start helping us out since they are typically the duduk-goyang-kaki types unless someone pushes them. Mwahah soon I can goyang my kaki.

Today also happens to be Aish's engagement day! Wooo nasib baik Pak Mi's event ended sharp-sharp at 3.30pm, enabling me to run off to her house. Timing yang cukup baek punye, tengok2 Aizudin's family pun baru sampai rumah dia. Safe! Congratulations, Aish! See, I told you guys Aishah would be first. Heheh :D

Bystanders

W.T.F.

Seriously loh. I don't wanna start hating my life again, but sooner or later it's bound to happen if this continual bitterness of what-could-haves and what-should-haves won't cease.

Are our innocent lives and fate so strongly tied/chained to Kpop that we can't even untangle ourselves from it? At a time when we're struggling to protect our souls from becoming further jaded, the truth lashes back at us.

How pitiful that the success of others is so quickly in the here and now, then it adds salt to injury and taunts us to relive the pain. Pain caused by a foolish and broken dream that haunts us wherever we go.

It's already been decided by God, it seems. The future will thrive with the rising opportunities spread open like a buffet for them.

Our punishment for being too presumptuous is that it's going to be a future without us. No choice left but to endure the things we will never have.

Of Friendship, Love and Sacrifice

Today I experienced my first campur tangan in another person's love life. Spending time talking openly about another couple's issues feels surreal. Brings to mind all that Hollywood stuff we get stuffed with about how bestfriends stick up for each other to hantam the boyfriend for a misdeed.

It sure seemed like some drama with me there trying not to sound vindictive and snarky. You know how emotive I get, right? So while the guy rattled on and on about how he's 'trying' to make things right, I let Aishah do the talking. Because somehow I felt horrible how the conversation made me have doubts in how I view my own relationship with Jerry. I'm a terrible friend. I don't know why you people put up with me :S

Don't know if the outcome of our 2 hour talk does manage to protect and salvage their relationship or not. I just hope nothing bad happens. But damn, men sure know how to talk big, don't they?

Hey Jerry, please take extra care of yourself. Come back soon, okay? Luv ya forever and ever.

We're All In The Same Boat

Jess, Michele, Kak Bailah, Fel, Nwar and Tasha pointed out during Jzune's birthday party last night of how short a time since we met and then eventually becoming this close group of friends: give or take 2 years. Wow. It felt like we've known each other for far longer...

Jzune kinda opened my eyes yesterday when I saw how she was among her college friends. She was slightly different than how I've viewed her and apparently when she's around our group of 'Kpop friends' all this while. *sheepish smile*

It isn't exactly my first time encountering my friends' friends but I still feel awkward to find a mutual level of comfort with their friends. Although, this happens rather infrequently. Because naturally, to avoid misunderstandings and conflict of interests, you don't go around matching up a clique of close friends with another clique of close friends.

Do you? No? Somehow it's as if I'm hording vital information from all my friends by 'categorising' myself into separate molds whenever I switch between these different sides. At times I just prefer to be by myself than having to split my life and personality, in order not to favor too much to one group (so that the other group doesn't feel betrayed). Does this make me selfish?

By the way, please tell me that there is someone out there who is also annoyed that his/her Friendster login page now automatically loads in Bahasa Melayu. wtf.

green mucus

guh. my flu's getting worse. i think i should bring a sweater to the
office. but since i don't have my own table and computer yet (i know,
so sad right?) it wouldn't be possible to just leave my stuff hanging
around at other people's place.

i just got back from Damansara's Cathay Cineplex after watching a
Korean horror movie with Bailah [To Sir With Love]. we sempat makan
dinner (yum, Little Penang Cafe setmeal) before the screening...
although eating a chockful of food within 15 minutes is even a mighty
feat for me. this is actually my first time exploring and enjoying the
superduper cold aircond there :P so i finally got to 'see' Midori

ooh i was really surprised to see the 5 comments to my last post. thank you!

twinnie: well, you don't need to say anything to console me 'ctually. you deserve more ranting sessions than anyone else of us do.
mishiewashie: ubat bius?? you think
anaesthetician want to free-free cucuk me kah? require shitload of
money to get junked worh. nice idea, tho. *shoots arrows of love*
felshia: aiyoh. sure lah, everyone oso
cabut from the forum cos still got so many issues unresolved. er about
my termination, i'm not so sure myself.
shu: aiyoh. sorry lah.. i wasn't going to tell anyone yet, more so of hearing it so casually. plus, i can't go online on msn.
noviar: issit? shouldn't i be filling in the form for 'I Was Staff' club?.. and not 'I Not Staff'?

mapley blues

bearing a lame excuse that my Dad and Mak weren't at home (they're in JB for Khairul's engagement), i sneaked off to the our fave mapley at 12 o'clock in the morning. i told my sister that i'd be lepak-ing with JerRy and Aish, and she gave the green light as long as i brought the autogate thingy and house keys. i sorta.. well.. forced her to wake up at 2am last week because i didn't bring my keys and i still feel guilty for that.

this famous kedai mamak at the Old Town cross junction became our favourite haunt since last year. i'd order teh ais (2 glasses) everytime. and if i'm hungry there's always maggi goreng and kuey teow kerang to devour. we'd talk about anything and everything until 2-3 am. usually we'd disperse earlier at my insistence because i had work the next day.

but today's Labor Day.. and JerRy's travelling back to KB for her internship. so i didn't mind staying there until 3am before having them sleepover in my room. and today being the eve of a public holiday, the place was full.. with noisy ah bengs and families who come for nightcaps. i can't believe i'm the one frequenting there nowadays. imagine, this used to be my elder brother's former lepak joint back when he was still in high school. ^^;; my other brother wasnt and isn't much of a mamak person... so i guess the trait was passed down to me (much to my Dad's obvious bafflement).

he doesn't say much about me returning late, well since i do come home right? but i've had several advices and quirked eyebrows over this habit from friends and classmates.. which i find amusing. admirable, but amusing. especially coming from a guy. you see, there are lots more ways to define rebellion and social-ness and i doubt this is counted as that. please don't be a dolt by branding me as a 'social city girl'. tch.

anyhooooo~ as long as i take precautions (when i walk home), i hope nothing happens to us. nauzubillah.

Take care, my dears

To JerRy a.k.a Sarina: this thursday evening she'll be leaving for KB to do her internship at HUSM. 2 months over there.. might not seem like a long time, but me and Aish are surely going to feel the worst pang of loneliness. we'll just have to survive for 90+ days of not going for nightcaps at our regular mapley. eit! buat kerja leklok and jaga diri kat negeri orang. kalau bakal Internet connection ko hampeh, ko bleh mintak aku mail kan apa2 lagu Gackt baru. atau kalau ko mengidam Nando's, kitorang boleh tolong DHL kan :D! take care, ol' buddy. i'll be saving money for the soon to be Penang-KB trip.

To My Love / Husband #2 aka Hyoshin: eh, what happened? he looked like he was going to faint on MusicBank. and he certainly looks skinnier than last month. uuu his eyes are so puffy. 오빠.. don't overdo yourself, please T__T. 2 years of absence doesn't mean that you must accomplish so many things within just these 2 months. you'll burn out! take especially good care of your health, okay?

To My Soulmate / Husband #1 aka Dongwan: i want to thank him for asserting such strong trust in his fans. no, i don't believe the rumours surrounding his acting career crossover. once a Shinhwa member, always a Shinhwa member. ne? some people are just so damn cynical and negative about gasoos acting. 오빠, stay as your own true self and never let anyone break that beautiful bond between you and the other members. friends take care of each other ;) and as such, we are here to take care of you in return.

confetti & cake

Happy 22nd Birthday Nauwar! Saengil Chukahae~ here's some cake from me and Hyoshin! =D

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   |@ _.-|      (_"_"_"_)
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 ( |x|   | ) (@ .--'! `.' @)
  \`.|.-' /  |'|    !   `|'|
   `.___.'   |>|  .'`.   |>|
             '.|.'    `. |.'
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there's also a special gift in store for you. oh what the heck, i'll upload it right now. it's a perf by our two R&B princes: Park Hyo Shin and Wheesung!

wheeeeee!!! *throws confetti all around*

*Dongwan goes chasing confetti and gets smacked on the head by Minwoo*

psh. dork

note of appreciation

woah, i had a busy weekend.. i went out everyday and now i'm dead broke. btw, THANK YOU SO MUCH to all my birthday well-wishers who sent me SMSes, testimonials and personal dedications: Farah, Erenah, Nwar, Kak Naza, Achab, Yannaj, Jerry, Rigel, Aish@Powell, Che Mah, Izan, Hidayah, Aishah@Luqais, Fhizah, Jessica dongsaeng, Aini, Sal, Epy, Lina, Mek Kin, Nadiah and all you peeps who i may have missed out in here. i heart you guys so much! Saranghae!! *huggles* oh special thanks to Aish n Jerry for the splendid night out and prezzies. i'm lovin the bag.. ^__^

whee my luck is on a roll! i'm on a download frenzy today.. so far i've got Xman, Love Letter, Hyesung's YoonDoHyunie Love Letter, Andy Banjun, both episodes 13 n 14 of Goodbye Sadness, plus 2 dramas to watch! my braincells are gonna die like this lorr. woooh woooh

pining over..

sorry bout the delayed update guys, i haven't been online during the past weekend. uh oh, there's another Kpop Kingdom gathering this Saturday. belum confirm lagi dapat pergi ke tak, aku kena mintak duit awal2 from my dad. it's going to be a picnic-gath at KLCC Park, so i suppose it'd be nice to bring some stuff as a potluck. what to bring? hari yang panas2 camtu, duduk bawah pokok sambil dengar KPop-- bestnye kalau dapat minum sake sambil mengamati keindahan bunga sakura... >.LARUKU photobook!!!, Luna Sea photobook TT___TT , a lot more JRock stuff like hide, X,... and last but not least, SONG SEUNG HEON photobook yang terliur habis (the one Kak Naza bought). gosh.. SSH book costs at least RM120 and the JRock ones are RM200++. @_@ i'd have to a millionaire's daughter to be able to collect all those. waaahhhh. untuk memuaskan hati, kami telah pun membelek setiap mukasurat photobook Seung Heon oppa dan mati sakit jantung time2 tu jugak ^^.